Been a while since I've posted on LJ. I've become more quick-fix FaceBook. Everything's good. We're working on a lot of 'projects' again, makes for a good break from the endless reams of 'property brochures'.

The centre-piece project right now, is 'Toy RockStar'; it's an extension of our 'agency' - an excuse to do random work for our own amusement - actually really be random.


"Toy Rock-Star. It's not recording artist. It's not graphic artist. It's not digital artist. We're 'Advertisement Artists'. After 10 years of inventing the dreams of brands, and splashing them across your newspapers, your television - we created a label - it's for our own work. We don't have a product range. We don't have a catalogue. We're making it up as we go along." www.toyrockstar.com


We recently appointed, Bjorn Turoque, as our official air-guitarist... Someone asked me, 'Do you legitimise Air Guitar?'. Clearly we do, but to do that, we have to actively support it - it's not something you can support in name only, you've got to get both hands in the air.

So we held nominations, and appointed, Bjorn, the world's second-best air-guitarist... www.bjornturoque.com - Bjorn accepted our nomination - we were touched. His site is really worth the time. It's absorbing. The man is nothing less than utterly compelling.

First hat sample came in, yesterday. Finish is a bit iffy but it wasn't a bad prototype. I've been trying to buy a hat for ages, and then as we were doing sticker designs, 'gee that'd look cool on a hat'... Three days later... a hat. It's enthusing because, there's something about moving from A-B really easily, without obstacle. October we have an exhibition planned in Dubai; working on all the artwork at the moment.

It's been interesting, we do so much advertising and PR work, getting used to how things work 'again'. And taking that media hack role, with an advertising bent. It's kind of a brand-experiment... Fun so far =)

TRS Images

Björn Türoque - Toy RockStar's Official Air Guitarist



TRS Sticker 1




TRS Sticker 1

... designed by committee. Quite like the phrase. It's apt here. Life can generally be summarised as 'happy' and 'good'. So what's happening? On July 1st we're set to open Pixhaus here formally as an agency; the company and team has grown, we're working with some pretty amazing people and working on some projects of our own as an 'agency team'. The place still remains 'surreal' and it's going to be more so when the new super-developments go up, like Bawadi - think Vegas times x10 and rumour has it there'll be an onshore casino. We all figured they'd moor the QE2 for that purpose. Then there's Dubai Waterfront set to be x2 the size of Hong Kong... So Dubai's keeping it big and weird.

I don't go out. At all. The week is mostly extreme work hours but the weekends have become more interesting with a kind of adventure extreme sports programme. Sonja jumped out of a plane last weekend. We both went diving for the first time, and am doing the PADI open water course this week. Diving - I have to say is the one thing that lived up to expectation.

Comic Studio opens this month, all being equal. Once the sites and so forth are up; I'll post the links. I'm back in London for a few days in July round the 17th. How's the people?

Many of you know that Diz has been detained in Dubai, through the immigration process people are 'randomly' pulled for inspection. For anyone ever travelling to Dubai, avoid anything that draws attention to you, during immigration. Don't take any prescription drugs with you, even if you have the prescription, infact don't even take panadol. It's not the 'search' that is problematic, it's the urine or blood-test. What is legal in Amsterdam or decriminalised in London is illegal here, having it in your urine qualifies as smuggling.

Diz was found with over the counter sleeping pills. We had hoped these would simply be confiscated, but they claimed to have found 'hashish' in his back-pack, a small fleck of something brown, which is probably dirt.

As soon as the Police use the word 'hash' it becomes impossible to manouveour through alternative channels. We sat and waited for him for two hours, believing he'd be freed. The Police here don't have to apparently tell the truth, by 1.00 PM he was shifted to the Police Stattion. It looked like immediate deportation, but they won't tell you what is happening accurately.

We contacted a Sheikh from the ruling family, the German Embassy, the Chief of Police, Narcotics Officers, Majors in the Police Force through personal connections and friendships to make this 'disappear'... I put a native Arabic Speaker on the phone to the police during the detainment, as that usually helps and so we could get a more accurate measure of the scenario.

We pulled every string there is. The use of the word 'hash' closed the door on us. Until clarity is established with the 'supposed hash', it's difficult, as in this discreet country, the word 'drug and smuggler' means back off. Hand it to the police, as a tactic to give them more time with him, it worked. For those not familiar with Dubai, a DEA Officer from Afghanastan, had some hash and seeds on him, easy to have happen when you're seizing the stuff in tonnes... A gram of Hash and Seeds landed him 6 months in prison, Sheikh Maktoum (the ruler) pardoned him about 6 months after the event and apologised, but not even the Sheikh with pressure from the DEA and US Government could release someone accused of 'drug' and 'smuggler'. Diz is a long way from 'a gram of hash', to a fleck of something, but you can understand how an accusation like that made the Embassy and our supporters step-away to the left until we know what they have.

Now assuming the Hash isn't hash - which I do. But a urine test is another matter. At this stage, I need to know the conclusion on the Hash, and we will engage 'the' German Ambassador, who fortunately is a friend. Our immediate objective is deportation on the basis of a poor-score on the urine test. With diplomatic pressure this is the most likely result. The worst case, is a 4 year sentence cut down to 6 months. That is how this works.

Dubai is a great country, although the above may not sound so good - I've had a fantastic time here. There are many things that are illegal here, and recently there's been a stronger swing towards Islam. But as long as you are 'discreet' everything short of 'drugs' is tolerated. Sure PDAs are illegal unless you have a marriage license, but that's only really a problem during Ramadan, and as long as you aren't groping in the street it's fine... just don't go to Sharjah (another Emirate). As far as an Islamic Country goes, Dubai is very tolerant, it's over 85% expatriate, probably closer to 90%. But when you enter the country, treat it like Saudi Arabia.

The rule is here, 'don't make a fuss'. And we are for Diz, albeit discreetly. My feeling is you'll see him back in England by Wednesday; that's our goal.

According to the Narcotics Officer, they can hold him for 24-48 hours without charging him. They probably will because they're making foreigners with drugs or positive tests an example; even suspected ones. After that he will be deported and banned from the country.

In his favour are several things; 1) it's a non-prescription drug and 2) it's not hash. 3) And most importantly, he never made it through Customs and thus not into Dubai - so any urine test, effectively falls outside of having 'drugs' in Dubai. Although it qualifies as 'smuggling', it can't qualify as smuggling to distribute; it's retroactive personal use. The 'forced confession' isn't good - internationally - but then it's common - sign these forms, written in Arabic.

Nothing sadly, about Diz's case is unusual. Precedent says, 'deport with embassy pressure'. We'll do our best. I thank you all, and on Diz's behalf for the texts and calls. I'm in constant contact with Mildred, and I believe diplomatic pressure is the answer, and they have far-greater familiarity with the laws and rights in this Emirate than I do for foreigners.

Any further developments, I'll post here. We are doing all that we can, staying 'smart and cool', and I know that Diz is resilient with these kinds of things. During the detainment he kept his sense of humour, and we've kept on the embassy, hit the phone all day and night to do everything we can, called every connection there is here - hopefully 'stirring enough' to make them wonder, 'who exactly they have in their hands and to tread carefully with him'.

For those who want to help, there's not much that can be done. I've got as much information as I can, Mildred is sourcing Diz's parents, so they can get in contact with him and the Vice Consul is looking at it today. The second I have confirmation on the test-results, we can respond accordingly to the scenario. Mildred's doing great, everything we need her to do.

Thanks!

I'm catching up on posts, uploading files, does that at 2 AM. Xmas was spent in Dusseldorf, the first time I've visited Germany. It was remarkably quiet. I studied German at primary school, although study, doesn't qualify really for several reasons - "Ein Tanenbaum" isn't considered conversation and I never studied. Germany was a good change from the UAE. You become Dubai'd very quickly, everyone who comes here says it won't happen to them, and it hasn't fully taken over.

Generally, having a maid or a driver is common. When you go to the Petrol Station, they fill your tank. Everything is done for you. There's an 'Office Boy' who earns about £100 a month to get your lunch and coffee. I refuse that at least. Though I do enjoy having cigarettes ordered to my desk from the supermarket... that's cool!

But back to Germany. It was great. They have the best bread ever. And although the glu wine is good, freuen zanger bowle is better! The Weinacht Markets are fun, it's good to feel some tradition at Xmas. Skipped over to Zurich - it's much more industrial than I recall, but they really made something with it. The Freitag Building, made out of containers rocks. I constantly chanted 'mountains', and vreena, a friend of my girlfriend (Sonja) took us up to the Alps. Illness prevented me snowboarding (figuring Iran or Lebanon for that). The Alps are amazing, breathtaking and you can catch a glimpse of Eagle's soaring.

We did a quick visit of Amsterdam. Red Light District smaller than expected. And the most interesting thing were the little signs that said, 'window for rent'. Amsterdam, gonna say it's 'ok'. Wasn't really taken by it, but was only there for a few hours.

What Else? I live with a fascinating South African Couple, Lee and Kevin. Kevin's actually from Zimbawbe - although all 'caucasians' have been disowned by the nation. Lee used to be a member of the ANC and is friends with Nelson Mandela; it's weird hearing her talk about that - "I told Nelson, you're a bad man." I was like WTF - you told Nelson Mandella he was a bad man? As if! She was responsible for negotiating between the prisoners and the developers who took over the prison island. I warn guests, my housemates are endlessly fascinating, and you don't just drop in here - you'll be there for hours and hours.

I live in a Dictatorship in Dubai. On many occasions, this works rather well - things do get done. But this is a country built from the sand in a decade. Two or three years ago, the tallest building in Dubai Marina, was the hard-rock cafe. 10 years ago the World Trade Centre dominated Sheikh Zayid Road. PDAs are illegal. But not often enforced unless it's Ramadan. I actually, quite admire Sheikh Mo' as we know him. Dubai feels like just after a war, in reconstruction, expatriate radio and one long party, with an undercurrent of 'bribes' and 'arms dealers turn diamond traders'. Everything about it I love. Al Qaeda took some of the fun away. In Um Al Qwaaim, one could fire machine guns and sniper rifles. It got shut-down.

Sometimes it feels Feudal here. The gloss is underwritten by labour camps. But you soon learn, life is better here than Manilla or Beijing. Before the fence went over the highways, apparently you'd see feet and limbs a lot as the Indian Workers tried to run across a 6 lane free-way with a 120 KM speed limit and by limit I mean, unless it's wet - that's how fast you have to drive. Though I do find the 'beeping limit reminder' odd - imagine sitting in a Ferrari, you put the foot down, warm it to 100 KM, it wants more and then you get an irritating beep reminding you that you're breaking the law.

There are few teenagers here, unless you go East of the Creek (Dubai's Sarf London). There's no crime. There's no unemployment. You don't work, you're out. If you're local, you're taken care of. Think Vegas with Bloodline. No streets smell of piss. Because you don't fuck up or around.

The Middle East becomes something different quickly. We don't worry about 'bombs'. And everyone gets along just fine. Alcohol unites worlds. It's something seeing a local in dish-dash, with three hookers hanging off his arm, swilling scotch and sucking down a cigar. There's apparently 300,000 hookers here and I project a population of 2-3m.... A hooker night club is a site to see... Everything is tolerated, except drugs, as long as you don't 'display publicly'.

Everyone is interesting. From the Special Forces trainer I met at the airport. The Saudi Princesses, breaking out of Riyadh to make it on their own. The philipino lady-boys. It's got it all.

Everything I love Except... 'Freedom' and 'Rain'.

We were visited by the Ruler of the Free World. He bought with him 500 people. 100 dogs. 2 Apache Helicopters that buzzed the city. They shut the entire place down. Sunday 4.00 PM a public holiday was declared. Public doesn't mean private business. We don't stop. A week of 17 hour days is testament to that. Amen. But it did make life hell.

The rains have come. The streets are flooded. Locking us down again. There's no drainage to speak of. It's tempting to start building a paddle-pop Ark.

' Reporting from Dubai

I remember as a teenager, hearing this idea, of prisoners sleeping on their arms so that they go numb, and when masturbating it feels like someone elses hand. Having tried this in my adolescent years and periodically to see if I was missing something, to me it's how I imagine being given a hand-job from a zombie to be. There's no real movement of the elbow, co-ordination or grip, more a numb-flailing with a sexual urgency.

I was thinking, it's a perfectly reasonable notion to 'sue' someone for failing to realise something to it's full potential.

For example, I visited the website: "www.ihateeverything.co.uk' and it seems to me the gentlemen doesn't really hate everything, in fact he appears to barely hate anything. I immediately felt cheated, that the site hadn't lived up to it's claim. I mean how often are things disappointing, you expected better because it should have been better. Really, potential is just as offensive as unrealised.

Secondly, I really hate retorts in an argument such as 'who decides this', it's usually the response to a position in a social/political debate. Clearly, the answer is 'me'. It'd be a marvellous system of Self Realised Totalitarian Anarchy. Actually, I hate people who use the word anarchy, unless they're 15, have a rucksack for a backpack, a wooden ruler with the carefully rendered logos of death metal bands... that my friends is the mark of someone going places. Worse is when people debate the concept of anarchy, it's really grounds to glass someone.

I have nothing really to post. At least at this point. Something may happen along the course of the keyboard. I mean things have happened. Over the shoulder, there's a host of heroic or degenerate stories, depending on your perspective or perspex, if you choose to shade them with the majesty of plastics. Taking the heroic angle, March - Drunk. Fell into an awful crowd, Gangsta Rappers, Boy-Bands and Glitterati, summarise it as life on a tab. The brave can hear the recollections over a pint, as sense and reason tried to survive against, the liqoured neurosis of the self-elected cool. These are interspersed with my somewhat legendary tales of dating, that seem only to escalate in their grandeur of how jaw droppingly bizarre people are.

April - Sober. Disturbingly so. Working. Mostly. The useful realisation, that corporate culture is single minded, exacting and purposeful whereas the creative too often lacks discipline, and as a client is rather a dangerous proposition; or how to lose money and fail to deliver a project. I mean, really I can't expect promoters to understand the 'notion of core business' and 'everything' is a far more charming word with the swoon of a guest list and a line of coke in a VIP chamber.

Flirted with quitting smoking. But nicotine really, it's committed. And I'm a sucker for that. I know every drag loves me.

Oh. Writing comic books again. And some other things. But we don't talk about that. Much.

There's a man, we'll call him, Me, walking a dog, we'll call the dog Lenore, there's another man walking a dog, a blind man, with a guide dog... Did I mention he was BLIND and OLD... As if saying hello to the pitbulls on the Heath wasn't enough comedy for one afternoon...

A deer called John. Imagine the fun we'd have together.

Am sojourning at HMS Belsize, which is great, hound duties pleasantly extricate me from the desk on a daily basis, and Lenore and I are developing an understanding, 'Lenore, don't jump on the child'. Nervous parents love that one.

Being in HMS Belsize, has helped find some focus again, creatively - for some reason, the UK has been a place that I haven't ever really been 'in'. For whatever reason, it was easy to get lost in work, or responsibility, to be looking for the exit or treading water. That kills creative energy. In the 7 years I've been here, I've never been this unproductive on my work. I'm cautiously excited, found my old comic artists in Australia, started writing and redrafting works.

Sketched an opener to what is probably going to be a comic, it's difficult to work in the clipped language that I love so much in anything else other than script descriptive and comic narrative.

"The bone dogs are made of skin and sinew, limping killers, with eyes shifting left, right and centre. Broken tails, kinked, held low. Bodies curled around trash, hung jowls pull taut over a canine bite, blood hungry teeth and tongue. The bone dog growls, tomorrow belongs to ours."

Russian squirrel pack 'kills dog'

Local people suggest hunger is driving squirrels to extremes
Squirrels have bitten to death a stray dog which was barking at them in a Russian park, local media report.


http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4489792.stm

Scenario's escalated. I tried to negotiate with my landlord, so as to retain liquid capital. They're reversing their position, plan to hold my bond for 28 days and want the next months rent. I'm about to perform a high-speed maneouveur. The boiler's a violation of health & safety, been that way beyond the legal time span. What this means is, rather than me lose £2400, they owe me £1200. Doubt I'll see it, but it's the best move I can make. I'm not giving them to think or react, they bought this broken down place as an investment portfolio, they know nothing about Residential Tenancy Law and even less abouta broken pressure release valve, or a boiler that doesn't even have anywhere for the water to go when the valve gives in.

Mel bounced outta here last week, ironically just as we got housing benefit, not the maths they ran on ever added up. She wasn't going to sleep in a room with a time-bomb, and she bailed with no warning. Leaving me, what Mick Dundee would have called 'up shit creek without a paddle'. I could sit out a real eviction, but that's not fun, and I'd rather not; although I ain't getting a reference from these guys clearly, I'd still rather be able to have the morale high-ground when negotiating for a new pad.

I've hit every client for invoices, managed to haul in some decent cash but not enough for a flat, not on my timeline. I may or may not hole up in Hotel Little Odessa, depends. I'm looking for some breathing room from what looks like Saturday on, packing down and boxing on Friday - everything will go into storage saturday. Got an office free for my machine, and for me that's really all that counts. Long as I can work, it's all good, where I sleep don't matter too much.

The plan beyond Saturday, doesn't have much meat on it. Figure over the next 5-10 days, I can bring in enough to do whatever. Debating going back to Australia, apartment for £140 a month is looking nice in Eastern Europe, or stick around and take a share - maybe both? Tough calls to make. I'm not looking to steal a couch long, maybe even not at all - Hotel Little Odessa's got some memories, but it also has a burn-rate on cash until I confirm pay-dates. But a back-up plan'd be handy.

Any directions or leads appreciated.

If ye'ever get stuck in hell, spent near two years there, happy to give directions =) Hoping for some change this time round, and not the kind that's always 10p short for the night bus home.

Turns out after 14 days without hotwater, I have a time-bomb in my cupboard; the giant steel casing could explode at any point, taking with it the flat, the flat below and the flat below flooding it with scalding hot-water, destorying pretty much everything - the large number of electrics promises to put a heavy voltage through the water.

Apparently this happens once or twice a year, appears I won the 'golden plumbing ticket'. Actually the entire building should be condemned, every single tenant is refusing to pay rent for one reason or another, usually involving the words 'death trap'.

I'm on the search for a flat fast (1 bed to studio), or possibly a share. Heck, I'm even tempted to offer a bounty for anyone who can sort me out in either direction. My needs are few, good access to central london really about it. I need to vacate here pretty quick.

Appreciate any ideas, leads or prayers that I'm not seared in hot-water, electrocuted and picking shrapnel from my chest!

The concept of control is often called an illusion, but most of our lives could be regarded as an illusory construct of perception, even those things we value most like social order, money and the law. The illusion of control, is the sense of being in control and that in and of itself is productive. The choice is not what is an illusion or what is not - but which illusion we choose? By feeling a state of disorder we will create a greater disorder, by responding chaotically to events, by perceiving a state of order we are more likely to choose a structured response and feel more certain about that course of action.

Reality is perfect and absolute. It is fixed and unchanged by perception, what we can change by perception is how we perceive the world. The notion of having a closer proximity to the perfect state of 'reality' or 'real experience' becomes murkier the further we venture into cognition, analysis. As the physicist would say by viewing it, we change it but in the case, it's more that by viewing it we only change ourselves.

Accepting that Reality is distant, largely irrelevant to our daily lives which are governed by social context, we must as Axl Rose once titled an 'Album Choose Your Illusion'.

I've developed a useful theory, actually I'd say engineered. Developed it's so connotative, of developing which implies all sorts of things that might be true, that I might not want to be true. To develop, one is usually in a lesser state, and entering an improved one. Horrible thing to confess. Each time I enter a room, I deal with one thing in that room that annoys me, be it a dirty bench, a lid not quite on a jar, my accounts. By virtue of being less annoyed, I will become happier. It actually appears to work.

I've been frighteningly uncreative with the written word, though this is caused by a terrible phrase from a book I shouldn't have read. Where the phrase, 'story of surpassing quality' was used. I am now staring at half-written work, asking myself, 'where's the story'. This is a lot like asking, 'where's the show?' except that's a better question; asking where's the show ensures that you focus on the aspect of what you are doing that captures interest.

The new pixhaus site, little more than a holding page is up - a lot more than a holding page but less than a site. www.pixhaus.com

Haven't shared much of the work we do, so here ya'll go. Comments appreciated.

I've been 66.6 KG for 10 years now - like really. And it only just occured to me, oops. What'd I do to deserve that. 100 gms up or down and it'd be all the difference.

Well, ya'll missed a hell of a party - actually you would have if anyone came - :: scowls at address book ::! Fortunately, the other celebree (is that a word) compensated for numbers.

The drinking kept on for two days, even though I bowed out, as I will admit to finding new levels of just how 'offensive' I can be when on the tail end of a month long bender. But it happens, and it's not always me =) Just sometimes. But totally, you could have taken the opportunity to indulge bad behaviour, make vomit murals, hide pubic hairs in soap or whatever takes your fancy.

This was also in some senses a going away party, my primary exit from the UK is due in 6 weeks, with me being here from now on for a work basis only. The next 6 weeks are grimly locked on the ball, much to be done!

I wish there was good and evil. A heaven and a hell. There isn't. No human being has ever defined good or evil, to know the saints in person - they'd be human. In text they're heroes of virtue. Fate is a foul middle class concept borne of people who've never understood suffering, never seen death, never felt the weight of a still-borne child dead from the weakened womb of it's mother starved of food and under duress of ethnic violence expressed in the wicked edge of a machete. Charity is compassion by remote. There's just people. The best we have is good luck or bad luck, and to play whatever cards were dealt. To look-away or stare challenge in the face. Love is a lie built from romance novels and silver-screen comedies, written and expanded how it never is or was, another false dream we chase trying to fulfil, eating candy one after the other hoping the next is better but our tongues dulled to the sweet taste.

Welcome to the World. It doesn't get better. It just is. Happy 32 for me.